Mirror, mirror on the wall
If only I had a penny for the number of times I’ve heard a consultant say “it’s like apples and oranges”. The crux of the idea is that it’s impossible to make a direct comparison between an apple and an orange. You’re probably wondering where I am going with this. I’ve recently come to the conclusion that this philosophy also works when I’m comparing myself to others and this perfect image of “beauty” that I have in my head. I really can’t be comparing myself and Karen because, at the end of the day, we are completely different people (no matter how many times my friends might tell me that I’m behaving like ‘a Karen’).
“Even the most beautiful person in the world looks in the mirror and only sees flaws”. Yikes, I am definitely very far from being that person, and all I see are flaws. However, whenever I hear this line, I have found myself completely lost in thought and filled with a sense of contentment with myself and how I look. Granted, the feeling lasts only up until I open the Explore page on my Instagram and instantly feel like a Hobbit.
“If I could just change this one thing about myself”. This mentality is the reason that most plastic surgeons have Rolls Royces (really thinking about a career change right about now, to be honest). There is always going to be something new that we want to change. Fix that, and another new issue pops up, and soon enough its a game of whack-a-mole. I change the mental image of my body about as often as some people change their favorite tv shows.
My entire camera roll is full of sets of 1000 pictures of myself at the exact same time and place. I’ll post that one carefully curated picture on Instagram, after editing it heavily, and the world will think that this is how I look all the time. Ask my mom, I definitely do not look like that in the morning (which happens to be the only time of the day when my tummy is flat-ish). This entire experience has led me to believe that I am really the only one whose hair looks like a bird’s nest and the dark circles that I sport around the clock is a me problem.
I am so tired of looking at every picture and running through all the different things that other people might think while seeing it. This honestly makes me feel like crap. I often forget that I am not posting a picture so that a random Tom, Dick, or Harry can see it – I am posting for myself. Self-validation is super important. And to be honest, little do we realize it, but we look much better to the world than we look to ourselves. My arm looking a little saggy? Nobody really saw that.
