It’s time we talk about these damn quarantine snacks

You either eat to live or live to eat. I’ve been told that there are people who do exist in the first category. Those people who at dinnertime say “whoops, I forgot to eat today”. That’s just absurd to me. My relationship with food borders on detrimental (sound familiar?). Recently, while working from home, I have reached a point where I often structure my work around my many meals. As a consequence, my mornings often look something like this – 

12:00pm: coffee + protein bar

12:15pm: draft response to the email I received 4 days ago

12:30pm: binge eat

12:45pm: stare at response to that same email 

1:00pm: feel guilty for bingeing and do 5 squats

1:15pm: continue staring at response to that email

Needless to say, those 5 squats aren’t “toning my glutes” like they are supposed to. Damn those misleading YouTube tutorials. 

I have always thought that food should be such a frivolous aspect of our lives. I mean, from a scientific perspective, it’s just fuel right? But with all the variety, flavors and cuisines, I find it ridiculously hard to retain the “just fuel” concept. I mean, put a plate of lasagna in front of me and I will demolish it, regardless of how many helpings I’ve said “oh I am way too stuffed for this…” to before. Put a plate of brussel sprouts and it really depends on if there are other options on the menu. 

I’ve tried them all – keto, paleo, all the other ‘-o’s, fasting, overeating (because miracles do happen to someone, somewhere right?), and it’s tough. I will blame this on two things – boredom and accessibility. Needless to say, my lack of restraint, which is akin to that of a 5-year-old, has nothing to do with it. When I’m bored, my immediate instinct is to do something that is fun, easy and feels good. Eating that Almond Joy from the variety pack of chocolate just so happens to tick all my boxes. Let’s also just say that my sweet tooth is doing a really good job of inducing cavities for the rest of my teeth. 

It’s not even so much about how I look in the mirror. It’s more about how I feel and the ability to button my skinny jeans (don’t even get me started on the balancing act to get them up in the first place). Cheat days become every day and honestly that ghastly ‘detoxifying’ green tea I’ve been gulping before bed doesn’t seem to be vanishing my bloated stomach like I hoped it would. At this point, c’est la vie.